If I ran for President

Lately we have been hearing a lot about some incidents that occurred in the lives of the presidential candidates when they were aged twenty-something and thirty-something. We’ve heard that one had some tenuous connections to persons of unsavory character and the other was a drunk, gambling, wife-cheating, plane-wrecking, silver-spooned, self-promoter.

Well, after hearing these things, I got to thinking how much each candidate must now regret these things and wish that they hadn’t done them. Then I got to thinking how, if I ran for president, and had to look back over the wreckage of my teens and twenties, most of my regrets would be over things that I did not do.

Like, I remember one time in college I was invited by this girl to come to her house one night. I can’t remember her name, but she was pretty and fun to hang out with. I went over to her house with a bottle of wine and it was just me and her there. We drank the wine and talked some and watched T.V. and then we went to the diner and had something to eat. Then I went home. I regret now that I didn’t bring a bigger bottle of wine.

Another time I went out with a girl on New Year’s Eve (nope, I don’t remember the year) and we had an okay time and then went back to her parents house where she lived. She insisted on keeping her bedroom door open, signaling that the year was not going to start with a bang. When I got back to the house where I lived with some college buddies, they were hanging out having a good time. I regret now that I didn’t hang out with my friends that night.

One year in my journalism class, the big project that we were going to be graded on was a visit to a Super Fund site to write a cover-story article for the college paper. If you are not from New Jersey, you might not know that a Super Fund site is a place that is highly polluted and to which the Government has devoted all kinds of money and resources to clean up. All semester my professor was talking about how important a project it was and how excited he was that we were getting to visit this place. But when the day of the event came, I had no idea where we were supposed to get on the bus. I regret missing that trip.

I also regret not talking to my journalism professor more about baseball. He was/is a big Philadelphia Phillies fan and must be so excited that they are now in the World Series with a chance to win their second championship in the last 100 years.

Speaking of baseball, I regret not betting on the Yankees more during the 1998 season when they won almost every single night. Out of 162 bets, I would have won 114 times. That kind of money would buy a lot of ice cream.

I regret that I decided in 1978, at the ripe old age of 8, that I was a Philadelphia Eagles fan and not a New York Giants fan. The Giants have since won three Super Bowls and the Eagles have won zero. I had no business deciding what was best for me at that age. I regret that my Dad didn’t whip me for declaring that faulty devotion.

When I lived on Lamberton Street in Trenton, NJ, I often left my car windows open. I also traveled with a box of cassette tapes that included a really great mix tape that had, among others, “Sittin’ on a Dock of the Bay” by Otis Redding, “No Sugar Tonight” by The Guess Who, and “Time” by The Chambers Brothers. One night, the box of tapes was stolen from my car. I regret that I left my car windows open that night.

Despite the fact that I’d like a do over on all these things because each would have made my life a little more pleasant, I don’t have much right to second guess my actions. In fact, if I had done even one thing differently, I might not be where I am today, which is in a pretty good spot.

For example, I learned a lesson from that fateful night in my college days when I didn’t take a large enough bottle of wine to that nameless girl’s house. The next time I had an invitation from a girl to come to her house, I made sure to get the big bottle of wine. And it worked out pretty well. That girl is now my wife.